Wow....another year, another Oscar Ceremony. As in years past, the show was on the boring side, the major awards offered few surprises, and the show's consistently pointless montages made sure that it ran well over three hours. Why bother writing? Well, mostly because I get to rip apart some fashion missteps. As usual, I'll start with the show first and move to the fashion afterwards.
The Show
For the two of you who live under rocks, last night's show was hosted affably by Hugh Jackman. In my opinion, he did what he was asked to do, and he did it well. Unfortunately, what he was asked to do can be categorized as either unbelievably predictable (Song & Dance Loving Jackman does TWO Song & Dance numbers? SHOCKING) or just dumb (Jackman narrated throughout the show under a "this is how a movie is made scenario...it was PAINFUL).
As for the dance numbers, the first was Billy Crystal-esque, yet it managed to update what Billy did 17 years in a row by going with a "low budget due to these economic times (I know I'm not the only one who has had it with those three words) homemade look. Think cardboard cutouts of Oscars and pizza boxes taped to look like television monitors. Kind of like every holiday celebrated at local gay establishment Pieces in the W. Village, if you ask me, but funny nonetheless.
Unfortunately, the other musical number was ridunkulous...a complete waste of time. Jackman kicked it off with perhaps the lamest "reason" for a big musical number by indicating that "Mamma Mia! has officially outsold Titanic in the U.K. - the musical is back everybody!" before launching into a pointless mash-up of songs from musicals along with Beyonce, that girl from Mamma Mia! that reminds me of an even uglier version of Miley Cyrus, and Zac Efron and his beard. It was weird, and ultimately a lame reason to allow Jackman to do his Broadway thing. Hmm....and there I was thinking I was watching the Oscars, not the Tonys.
All in all, I give him a B, with a suggestion for the Academy...if you really want to shake things up...and I know this will never happen...hire Kathy Griffin! James and I caught La Griffin last night (that's right....I bought tickets to see Kathy Griffin on the same night as the Oscars! What a bonehead maneuver! Thank goodness for DVR and a well-planned personal day off from work!) with our friend Steff, and I just could not stop thinking about how amazing it would be to see the stars holding their collective breath for 3.5 hours with Griffin handling the hosting duties. Alas, the fact that she was at MSG instead of the Kodak Theater last night makes it unlikely that she will either be allowed to attend, much less host!
One absolute A+, in my opinion, was the manner in which the acting awards were handed out. This year, the Academy asked 5 previous winners from each category to address each individual nominee and give a first-person account of their performance. I LOVED it - corny, yes, but a heartfelt way to catch up with recent and not-so-recent former winners. My only peeve was that certain winners from last year (DANIEL! DAY! LEWIS! and Javier Bardem) couldn't clear their schedules to take part in the event. Boo.
One last comment on the show before I get to the awards...another way to spice things up would be to take a cue from the Independent Spirit Awards. That show, always held the day before the big show for Indie films only, is ALWAYS ten times more entertaining...whether it's the guess celebrity sung Best Feature ditties that are performed every year, Mickey Rourke referring to his co-stars from The Wrestler as "Melissa and the gap tooth girl" (Marissa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood, naturally), or the freely flowing booze, that show manages to get it turned out in just over 2 hours without commercials, with swearing, and not a montage featuring "Space Chimps" or "Don't Mess with the Zohan" anywhere in sight!
Before I discuss some of the awards, allow me to digress. I'm actually at home writing this with Oprah on, and the dog is driving me nuts. Ope has all of last night's winner on, and the pooch literally stopped her annoying behavior and started staring at the TV as soon as Slumdog's Frieda Pinto came on the screen. Even Radar can't take her eyes off of the beauty with the yellow scarf!
The Awards
Every year, one movie seems to dominate the awards. This year, that film was undoubtedly Slumdog Millionaire, which took home 8 awards including Best Picture and Best Director. Personally, my favorite film of the year was The Wrestler, though without a nomination in either of those categories, I was happy to see the 'dog win.
Interestingly though, Slumdog's popularity could not garner an acting nod for any of it's leads or supporting roles. This lead the acting categories WIDE open - and, for the fourth straight year, lead to four winners from four different films.
The night's first winner went to a shockingly deserving Penelope Cruz, as Best Supporting Actress for her role in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Admittedly, I still have not seen the film, and she had the somewhat unfair advantage that has helped so many before her take Oscar home (the supporting role in a Woody Allen film), yet I was still happy for her. Long time readers may be surprised by my support of her, as I was obsessed with my disdain for her for about 5 years. Alas, the combination of her incredible performance in Volver, along with her increasingly understandable English in roles that require her to speak our language have really turned my opinion of her around. She looked great on stage, she made sure to thank the one person who always believed in her (Spanish Director Pedro Almodovar) and she was sincere without going overboard.
The next acting award provided the night's "emotional high," when Heath Ledger's family accepted the Best Supporting Actor for his take on The Joker in The Dark Knight. Wow....I'm going to get really unpopular in about 5 words or so...I just wonder if he would have won for this role if he hadn't overdosed a year ago. That's not to say that he wasn't deserving....indeed, his stiffest competition may just have been Robert Downey Jr's comedic performance from Tropic Thunder, and comedic roles are only slightly more rewarded that comic book villains. I just think that the Academy wanted this moment, and perhaps wanted to reward him for the Oscar he should have received for Brokeback Mountain. Anywho, the moment was touching, though I still don't know why it took his non-elderly parents and sister 47 minutes to get from their seats to the stage to accept the award, except that the show is the culmination of this experience for his family, and probably means that they must focus on moving on now that he's gone.
Best Actress time...YES! I thought for sure that there would be an upset here....Kate Winslet was just primed to lose for her performance from The Reader to, say, underdog Melissa Leo (Frozen River) or maybe Hollywood darling Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married). Alas, when Marion Cottilard finally ready Winslet's name, I was elated. LOVED her speech, loved the shout-out to her parents, and loved (most of all) that she didn't slip up the way she did when she accepted her two Globes earlier this year. Academy Award Winner Kate Winslet just sounds right...doesn't it? SO much better than, say, Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon or Academy Award Winner Helen Hunt....right?
Lastly, in what was likely the closest race (would LOVE to see the results or to have been a counter on this one...), Sean Penn beat out Mickey Rourke for his title role performance in Milk. Look - I liked his speech, and I thought he was good in the movie, but I really just need the Academy to stop giving awards for impersonations...k? Mickey Rourke deserved the Award over Penn in my opinion, though perhaps the voters just aren't ready for Academy Award Winner Mickey Rourke. It does sound kind of weird I guess.
There were some other fun moments...the Japanese guy who won for Best Animated Short, whose struggles with the English language lead him to close with a nice "Domo Arrigoto, Mr. Roboto," the fun win for Best Song for "Jai Ho" (happy to see that win over Bruce Springsteen's un-nominated, would have been a shoe-in sing from The Wrestler)....ok, not much else to report on here, so let's go on to..
The Fashion
As usual, let's pay little to no regard to the men here. Sure, Rourke looked predictably Rourkey in his white Gaultier get-up and Philip Seymour Hoffman looked like a bloated, high idiot in his brown skull cap. And I suppose I could take some time to discuss bow tie vs. skinny tie vs. wide tie vs. no tie, but I can't think of one reader who would care. (In fact, I think that may be the longest I've ever discussed men's Oscar fashion!). Anywho, on to the ladies.
There was much discussion about how the dreaded three words (these economic times) might impact last night's clothing and jewelry. In my opinion, it forced many to simplify the jewels (with some notable and oft-disastrous exceptions) and turn to the more prosperous 1950's for gown inspiration. Ultimately, last night's fashion was quite the roller coaster...almost all peaks (A's) and valleys (F's), with one or two fashion loopdyloops (grading still tbd). Links to each dress are brought to you courtesy of (mostly) NY Magazine this year.
Peaks
It's always less fun to write about the nice dresses, though I would be remiss if I didn't at least comment on some of the real highs from last night. Let's start with Alicia Keys - I mean, how could I NOT mention my girl from Hell's Kitchen? Anyway, I am happy to report that she has officially gotten over the braids and really seems to be coming into her own. Her light purple gown really made her look like a star, despite not exactly being much of an actress per se.
Speaking of non-actresses, I thought Natalie Portman looked pretty damn fine in purple last night as well. Yeah, I went there. Anyway, her color choice was similar to what Alicia wore, so maybe I'm just responding to the manner in which that particular shade reads in photos, on the carpet, and on the tellie.
Seriously...what has she done for me lately?
I guess I'll give them a tie for third place. In a neck-to-neck battle, second place goes to Taraji P. Henson's beautiful white, ruffled gown. Usually, I find ruffles to be a big turn off, but I just can't help but feel that the look works for her. Too bad her hair was so Tootie from Living Single - she may just have taken first place had she done something with it...
Lookin' Good Out There For a Pimp
So that leaves just one winner in my Best Dressed book. Ok - I have admitted over and over again that I have a soft spot for her, so maybe there is a touch of subjectivity here...but Marisa Tomei was head, boobs (did you SEE her (all of her!) in The Wrestler?) and shoulders above the rest of last night's ladies. From the side swept 'do to the very simply stated jewelry to (most importantly) the gorgeously origamied dress, my favorite three-time Academy Award nominee triumphed despite her loss last night in the Best Supporting category.
The Loopdyloops
If we have learned one thing from Tilda Swinton, last year's Best Supporting Actress, it's that her sense of style is definitely one to discuss. More often than not, she is definitely on the Worst Dressed list - she takes chances, but too often her selections are beyond kooky. Given that somewhat wordy set-up, I am interested in hearing what y'all think about last night's number. I *gasp* think I like it!
The other dress I'm just not sure about is Kate Winslet's. Much like Tomei, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for her, so I'm not sure if I am giving her more credit than she is due for this one-sleeved number. Thoughts?
The Valleys
None of the following can, unfortunately for the ladies and their soon-to-be-fired stylists, be categorized as questionable. That's because these dresses are just plain fugly.
Let's start with Whoopi's beyond misguided Cheetarah get up from last night. Really Whoopi - is that the best you can give us? I get that you're not someone who has ever been, nor ever will be known, for your sense of fashion, but that doesn't mean you have to go and do this.
Every year, a little known or too-long ignored actress is nominated for a big prize and given the opportunity to make a splash at the Oscars. In past year's Diane Lane, Virginia Madsen, and even Shohreh Aghdashloo have benefited from dressing their best on the big day. Unfortunately, Melissa Leo (nominated for Best Actress for Frozen River) did no such thing. See for yourself...
Like the Color of the Crayon You Never Used
Not to beat up on the "older" generation of actresses, but I would be remiss if I didn't go there with Sophia Loren. Aside from continued insistence on wearing her sunglasses at night and indoors (is she high or something?), this nightmare of a dress is nothing short of a ruffled nightmare. Add those gloves, and you have this:
At least Meryl looks good for once...
Three more and I'm out...stay with me here, or you will miss out on Third Worst. I'm going with Reese Witherspoon, who somehow seems to often make her way to my list of the worst. This year, her ensemble (much like Paula Abdul on any given Tuesday night) is all over the place. Straps and cloth everywhere, shiny bits here and there, bad make-up and bad hair...
Tied for Second Worst this year are Beyonce and Jessica Biel. Two very different dresses, same disastrous results. Beyonce's is just tacky - she needs to get rid of her mother's House of Derrion frocks and start seeing an actual designer. As for Ms. Biel, she definitely going for something here (maybe the look that J Hud ACED (for once) at this year's Grammy's?) but there's just too much fabric here on a woman who should know (based on her roles) that less is best.
I don't like it - you shouldn't put a ring on it
Miss - you left your Red Lobster napkin tucked in to your top...
So who gets worst dressed? I can't believe I am doing this to a teenager, but her quest to seemingly dominate the world FORCES me to do this to none other than Miley Cyrus. All I can say is that James and I went to a Christmas Party and someone made a cake in a funky bunt pan and then coated it with powdered sugar. The cake was very tasty. The dress is very ugly.
That's it everyone...until next year (when we can hopefully, FINALLY celebrate an Academy Award for four-time Academy Award Nominee Ms. Julianne Moore)! Again...I'll do my best to keep this thing updated, but no guarantees! Thanks for reading...now get thee to the theater!
Tilda Swinton looks like my first boyfriend. I'm not sure who I'm most frightened for.
Posted by: Maria Mason | February 24, 2009 at 08:34 AM
What, you didn't like my text about Rourke's dog?
:)
Posted by: Bill | February 24, 2009 at 09:15 AM