Well, the final night of the 2010 Year in Film has come and gone, and we are left (once again) with few surprises, a couple of absolutlely ridunkulous speeches to make fun of, and mostly well-dressed starlets to gab about. Enjoy my poor grammar and spelling mistakes...if you'd like to apply for an editing internship with me, I'll gladly give you rights to fix all the mistakes you are about to read!
Overall, I think that was the problem last night...the show was tightly wound and executed, we knew who was going to win (I mean even I picked 5 out of the 6 big winners the day the nominations came out...I actually prefer to be wrong - it's more fun!) and there was nary a Bjork swan dress nor Uma Thurman lederhosen contraption in sight!
Let's start with the hosting. Meh...especially James Franco. Anne Hathaway did her usualy "Gasp! I. Am. So. Honored. To. Be. Here." schtick that I, for one, completely expected. I'm surprised she didn't take a picture of the audience to capture the moment for the "Hollywood Dreams" scrapbook you know she keeps under her four-post princess bed. Overall, though, she freaking CARRIED to hosting duties. Franco stumbled through most of his words, wasn't funny at all, and seems to have disappeared to the bong room for the middle hour and a half or so. Their opening was good - not great, Hathaway's odd Les Mis tribute to Hugh Jackman would have been mildy amusing at the Tony's but was unfunny and out of place at the Oscars...I don't know...I guess James in drag for 3 seconds was the highlight? The only other hosting item of note were Hathaway's 7 outfit changes - all posted here. My favorite was the red dress - I really liked the way it made the normally rail thin, boringly bodied Hathway look at least somewhat va-va-va room. Least favorite was a tie....the plasticy looking electric blue number just didn't work for me - it looked like what you'd get if a Lady Gaga outfit produced a child with my 1997 VW Jetta (I miss you Judy the Jetta! So sorry James was too tall for you!). I also hated the tux outfit....I just think women in tuxes is weird - I've never seen anyone pull it off (remember this one!). I never thought I'd say this, but we really need Billy Crystal to come back. Stat.
Ok - onto the awards. Again, no real surprises here. The first "major" went to Melissa Leo, after what I thought was an extremely painful presentation by Kirk Douglas. I appreciate that the man is 94 years old and a stroke survivor - I really do - but it was difficult to understand him, he clearly went way off script (which was even more difficult to understand) and then he grandstanded for what seemed like 10 minutes after naming the nominees before saying who won. I actually thought it was mean....if I were one of the four losers, with a camera on me that whole time, I woulda rung his neck. Anywho, I'm sure everyone will be talking about how amazing and courageous he was to get up there...I thought he was mostly just selfish. Ok, so he presented the Best Supporting Actress Award to Melissa Leo, who everyone knew would win (despite her BEYOND tacky self-paid "For Your Consideration" ads that many thought would ruin her chances) for her perfectly decent performance in "The Fighter." I was slightly disappointed- maybe it was actually bored - with her win, until she got on stage and made an absolute idiot out of herself while accepting the Oscar. She dropped an f-bomb, was not even remotely genuine about being shocked, flubbed her words, had her eyes open as wide as a Biggest Loser contestant at the Cheesecake Facotry - in short, it was amazing. She even grabbed Douglas' cane from him and limped off the stage....so weird! Definitely the kind of speech that people will be making fun of FOR YEARS. Unfortunately, Leo's speech was the high point of the low points for the night. The rest were pretty much standard.
Next major went to Christian Bale, also for "The Fighter." He joked about NOT dropping an f-bomb like Leo did, a clear jab at Bale's infamous/delicious to the ears on-set tirade a couple of years ago on the set of the cinematic masterpiece "Terminator: Salvation." Otherwise, meh.
Next major was the night's only surprise. Unfortunately, Tom Hooper's win for Best Director for "The King's Speech" ruined all of the suspense surrounding whether "Speech" or "The Social Network" would win Best Picture. Conventional wisdom had Best Director going to an honestly more deserving David Fincher for "The Social Network," with Best Picture going to "King's Speech." With Hooper winning, however, there was no way "Network" would take the biggest award of the night. I have to say that I definitely disagree with this one - there just wasn't anything remarkable about the direction of "The King's Speech" - especially compared to Fincher's work in "The Social Network" or especially Christopher Nolan's non-nominated work from "Inception" (which took home many of the lesser awards throughout the evening).
On to the two biggest acting awards - and back to no surprises. Despite a rising tide for Annette Bening's hopes to take Best Actress last night, Natalie Portman won for "Black Swan." Honestly, there's no question that Natalie's role and ensuing performance was the most deserving in the category...I found the film very difficult to watch BECAUSE of the harrowing performance Portman gave. I was hoping for a repeat of her extremely awkward Golden Globes speech, but she was mostly sensical and genuine....she should have sent Melissa Leo up there for her.
Next up was Firth's annointment to Best Actor, which every single person in the world knew was going to happen. Nothing exciting from him - slight British humor during his speech, but not as self-deprecating as one might have thought. Then the aforementioned win for "The King's Speech" and the night was over. Or was it? Fortunately, the producers had one more visionary delight for us...a public school choir from Staten Island singing "Over the Rainbow." Sounds treacly, until you looked at the actual kids, who sounded fine but looked like individual Hellen Kellers and Stevie Wonders as they all were staring in different directions while swaying around to their own made up beats and making homemade sign language gestures throughout the performance. FINALLY - something to make me freaking laugh! The night fully ended with the little Ray Charles' and Jeff Healy's at the front of the stage, and then all of the evening's Oscar winners coming to stage front from the backround, which I actually thought was a nice touch.
Now....the fashion! Liek I've already said, there were just too many hits and not enough misses this year. Those damn Rachel Zoe's are getting too good at scouting out gowns that actually look good on the red carpet and on the tellie. Damn - they're ruining it for us bitches that love a good red carpet takedown! I'll just have to do the best I can here. Before I get started though, a HUGE thank you to my own personal field reporter, Ms. Amy Karwan, who won bleacher seats and was sitting second row on the red carpet last night. Her 762 texts and e-mails from 12pm to 12am provided a unique insight while keeping me posted for who ws coming up next. Unfortunately, we agree on one of my best dressed and disagree....she liked a dress that I thought was a major miss.
So many good ones to start with. I'm going first with someone who normally looks hideous at these sorts of shows, but really turned it out last night. That's right - ze greatest singer in ze worl - Celine Dion - was one of my best dressed last night! She undid so many wrongs last night in this fit-her-like-a-glove white number which was perfectly styled from head to toe.
Another singer (and part0time actress), who looked amazing last night was the queen of Weight Watchers herself, Ms. Jennifer Hudson. I don't know what Weight Watchers is paying her, but they should quadruple her salary. She chose a perfect tangerine orange (her words, not mine) color for her skin, her hair was dead-on, and she said about 81% less "likes" when being interviewed...she really just continues to surprise. Unfortunately, I couldn't giver her best dressed because I found the side-boob action to be a little floppy and therefore distracting. Amy reports that it was stunning in person, so yay for JHud!
In overall second place, I'm going with Michelle Williams. She is just such a throwback to movie stars from 40 years ago - Audrey Hepburn, Mia Farrow in particular come to mind - but she has a way of showing up every year in a dress that is decidedly Michelle. PLUS, she came with the evening's best accessory - personal fave Busy Phillips. I LOVE HER and am really glad she's found a home for herself on "Cougar Town," which is actually an extremely funny, poorly titled show that you should check out if you get a chance.
So who gets best dressed for the night? Hands down, the winner for me was Jennifer Lawrence. She may have commited a cardinal sin by being pretty much the first starlet to hit the Red Carpet (Jennifer - we usually wait until Virginia Madsen, Kris Khardasian, and Sally Kirkland are whisked away before we let the limo stop - please take this note, as I hope to see you on the red carpet for years to come!), but she left an indeliable image that I just couldn't shake for the rest of the night. Well done, senorita.
Ok - on to the part of this blog that 97% of you skip down to without reading...worst dressed. Let's get the dress that Amy and I disagree about over with first...Annette Bening. I just don't get it. Amy thought it looked stunning in person, but I gather she might be a slightly biased source (think me and Julianne). My friend Boj, perhaps more aptly, thouht it was very "Kiss of the Spider Woman," which I don't think he meant as a comment based on the snarky tone in which his one-liner was delivered. I think she looks like some sort of 70's curtain from the old Tonight Show. Either way, um...her hair looked good?
More disappointing, though, was Mila Kunis' attempt at high fashion. I actually think this one photographs better than what we saw from her on television/at the show. I found all of the cut-outs very distracting and borderline sluzzy. I don't know...there's something that I love to hate about her...she's cute as a button, but that voice is GRATING - especially after years of listening to her voice Meg from "Family Guy." Any way, she's done much better for us before, so I'm sure she can turn it around if she ever makes it back to the red carpet again.
Next up is the evening's most controversial dress...the normally tradionaly stunning Cate Blanchett. This is probably going to end up being the most talked about dress of the evening...a real love it or hate it event. I, for one, hated it - as did everyone else I have talked to. James thought it looked like a homemade frame without a picture. I thought it looks like a faberge egg with an STD. And yet other commenters throughout the pre-shows were gasping for air - in a good way - when seeing it. Amy agreed that she didn't think it was a winner in person...not sure why ANYONE would like it at all.
In second place for the coveted award for Worst Dressed, I have to go with Scarlett Johansson. Let's start with her head - the slammed in the alley hair, combined with heavy eye make-up, made her face look at best like a Jenny from "Gossip Girl" knock off. Not a complement. As for the dress, I liked the color, but the lace pattern was dated, the length was off, and the cut out above her chest was just weird. She is clearly struggling from her sad break-up with Ryan Reynolds, but that doesn't excuse this mess.
Fortunately, someone outdid her in a big time way. Before I get there, what the hell was up with Hollywood Wives last night? I have to show you what Mark Wahlberg's wife was wearing, as well as Hugh Jackman's wife. I mean, ewww - just, ewww. Oh yeak - Florence of Florence and the Machine looked weird, but I'll give her a pass cuz I love her AND she changed into something much better when she performed during the show. Same goes for Amy Adams, whose dress was hideous enough without the horrible necklace choice - looked like when people put a rug on to of a rug, or a rug on top of a clearly bald head for that matter.
Nope - worst dressed has GOT to go to Best Worst Speech Award Winner, Melissa Leo. The dress bombed on all levels if you ask me. Fit was off. Doily pattern was WAY off. Mirrored effect filling in the cut-outs from the doily pattern. Just terrible. Somewhere, a stylist is getting fired as I type this. Perhaps a career at one of those decorate your own pottery places would be a better choice for that sad soul.
So, that's it. Another year gone. See you next January!
